Taking control of your emotions can help us in living a more positive, fulfilling life. There are three factors that determine what you feel. These factors are your Physiology, Language and Focus. Together, they create any—and every—emotional state. Learning how each factor plays a role in how we feel, we can learn to take control of our emotions resulting in feeling calmer, more positive, less reactive and happier.
Whatever you feel, you’re not feeling it because you have to feel it. You’re feeling it because you’ve chosen to feel it. In order to take control of your emotions and consciously choose the emotions you want to live in, you need to become aware of and understand these three factors and how to use them to your advantage.
Emotion is created by motion. Whatever you’re feeling right now is directly related to how you’re using your body. If you slump your shoulders and lean your head forward, you’ll move toward a state of depression. However, the next time you find yourself in a negative state, stand up, throw your shoulders back and take a few deep breaths. You’ll find that you’re able to put yourself in a resourceful state. From this state, You will be more present and you can make stronger, healthier, less reactive decisions.
Language comes in many forms, one of which includes the questions you ask yourself, either aloud or inside your head (your inner critic). If you ask, “Why does this always have to happen to me?” you’ll create a much different set of emotions than if you asked, “How can I benefit from this?” or “Where’s the gift in this?” or “What’s humorous about this?”
The language patterns you run play a significant role in the meaning you give a situation—and the emotion that situation creates in you. When you feel negative emotions taking over, look at the language you are using that surrounds your situation. How can you shift it to create a more empowering state? Write down some mantras or statements that you can utilize when you find yourself in a negative emotional state.
Where focus goes, energy flows. And where energy flows, whatever you’re focusing on grows. In other words, your life is controlled by what you focus on. That’s why you need to focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear. But fear is an invention of the mind. Fear is a phenomenon that resides entirely within your own brain. It’s the mind that gives every interpretation meaning—it’s your mind that conjures the negative emotion. So, when you next time you find yourself in a state of uncertainty and “fear” your goal is to shift your focus toward where you want to go and your actions will take you in that direction. Some questions you can ask yourself are: What am I afraid of? Then try and find the evidence that supports that thought. Usually, there is no real evidence that supports our fear.
Once you understand these three factors and practice identifying which factor is influencing your current emotional state you can begin to be more emotionally present and stay in a healthier, more positive state of mind.